Things I hate about being a waitress.

1. Working consecutive doubles because I don't know how to say "No."


2. People who are really needy, but super nice... and then don't tip.


3. Having umpteen aprons and all of them being dirty.


4. Hokeys that don't work.


5. People who come in 15 minutes before close.


6. People who come in 15 minutes before close and don't tip.


7. "Did she put down straws? I need a straw... Where are those straws? I am so thirsty... Honey can you give us some straws please?" Sure, lemme put down the tray full of the rest of your table's drinks, because YOU need a friggen straw right now.


8. Trying to do sidework and getting interrupted by every single imaginable request from your ONE table.


9. People who pay with fifties, and then don't tip.


10. The elderly who will talk my ear off about how they can't eat dairy and "Oh honey does this have milk in it? What about this? Are your mashed potatoes instant?..."


11. Old people who leave $1.37 in change.


12. Old people who don't tip whatsoever.


13. Kids who throw food at other tables.. and at the floor... and at me.


14. Parents who have kids who don't tip.


15. Grown men that call me "girlie".


16. When I say "Hi! How are you today?" and their response is "Coffee. Extra cream."


17. People who try to "help" by taking drinks/food off my tray.


18. Spilling italian dressing all over myself. That shit stains.


19. Those irritating people who need extra everything... extra dressing for their salad,..Oh honey I forgot I need extra gravy too. Oh I forgot to tell you extra butter. Sweetheart I promise this is the last thing, but I need........
20. People who come in and instead of sitting at the table the hostess so graciously lead them to, head straight to the bathroom.
21. Couples who, if one is in the bathroom, have absolutely no idea what they want to drink. It's a friggen beverage people!!
22. Parties of 10 or 12 or 14 that begin as one single person sitting there for 45 minutes going, "Oh, they must be late... Oh maybe I'm early? Oh, that's right, we were going to Baker's Square instead!"
23. Other servers who are terrible.
24. Thos who ask questions about every single thing on the menu... and then order chicken tenders.


25. People who don't tip.